We are vehicles in this life. As we maneuver through our life's journey we can feel like a beat up old truck. Not only are we missing lights, drained of battery but we are left abandoned. The feelings of abandonment can be overwhelming but dealing with those feelings will SET YOU FREE!
I can recall the first brush of feeling abandoned as a child. I just felt that my parents should have been there for me in so many more ways. I was constantly reaching for their approval and attention. Eventually I learned to take what was given but not a without an emotional cost. Feeling that trauma as a child on into adulthood caused me to concoct coping mechanisms. Actually it was more like defense mechanisms. I didn't want to feel. I didn't want to open my heart, because that meant someone may not meet what I desired. My abandonment defense pushed me right into surface connections. Opposite of me being ALIVE!
Even though I longed to feel and be alive , I had to protect myself. Well one day I decided It was too hard to protect myself and I wanted deeper connections. I had to address my feelings of abandonment that kept me stagnant for years. When you want approval and acceptance as a child , you steer clear of certain decisions as an adult. I WANTED LIBERATION. Being liberated meant I had to accept my parents did the best they could with what knowledge they had. I had to release pain and embrace forgiveness. I had to start living my life out loud. I no longer was concerned about what my parents thought as much as WHAT I WANTED FOR MY OWN HAPPINESS.
Growing up I learned that everyone has a way of doing things and parents generally want their children to succeed . But many times they want you to do happiness the way they did it. You can feel forced to take on their judgements and beliefs because you haven't quite learned what you really desire.
I overcame abandonment through acceptance of them and valuing ME! My whole world opened up. I could engage with who I wanted without wondering if it was ok with them. I could live where I wanted, serve the people I wanted without predispositions of their thoughts on my mind. MY LIFE WAS MINE! I no longer longed for what they couldn't give, because in actuality they gave what they could. I released the patterns of thinking that caused me to guard up, that love could flow freely through me.
It took a minute but I did it. When I meet people now who struggle to make decisions unless their parents or children or friends approve, I am not triggered. What I know is that one day if they allow healing, they will realize that this life is their own. One day they will want more and will not let other opinions stop them . One day they will walk a path and won't be afraid if people disconnect from them or not. Life is meant to be lived. So ONE DAY they will choose their own life. And if they don't and are more comfortable with others dictating their moves, relationships, and friendships, that's ok too. :)
Living A Liberated Life,