In order for there to be new growth , old soil, weeds and plants have to be uprooted. It is the same in relationships. When we use relationships to feed our codependency , it kills the growth. Codependency is a parasite ,not a fertilizer. It causes you to feel as an overwhelming need for a person in your life. Your creativity, you victories and triumphs are connected to the support of this person. It is a breeding ground for NARCISSISM!
Narcissism is fueled by their codependent partners. The narcissist creates an loving environment with love bombing that can quickly turn to gaslighting. They make you feel that their support is second to everyone else in your life. They have a goal of stripping your belief in your value, because they are feeding on your creative energy like a leech. Narcissist love to CONTROL DYNAMICS. They are never passenger seat drivers. They have to always drive or they are don't want to be apart. I can feel your light bulbs going off right now. You have already pinpointed someone in your life with narcissistic traits. Or better yet you notice that in yourself. You can choose to stay connected or keep the traits , everything is a choice.
Just in case you want to disarm the narcissist , you first have to heal the codependency. Find out when you became codependent. Did it start in childhood? Did it happen after a relationship breakup? Did you grow up in an environment of abandonment or with a revolving door of friendships? Just start doing some digging. If you have countless times where you couldn't depend on people or you use to your life being a revolving door, it could give life to codependency. Remember codependents connect their function and creativity to a person or people being present in their life. It could be family, friends or romantic relationships. HEALING this component disarms the narcissist.
I spent a few years in this codependent / narcissist dynamic. I kept attracting controlling people in my life. I was constantly bending and changing my desires to fit them. I lost myself in their needs and desires , while my needs and desires remain neglected. Healing codependency gave me the power to WALK AWAY permanently from connections that presented this level of control. I began to state my needs and value them more than pleasing the person. It was phenomenal TRANSFORMATION!
Heal your CODEPENDENCY and DISARM the NARCISSIST!